Suddenly self-conscious single

For some reason I have suddenly become super self-conscious that I am single.  Not in the "I am so looooooonely and will die ALONE WAHHHHHHHH" kind of way, but in the "wow, I really am pretty much the last of my friends that is single.  Whut?!"  It kind of hit me ridiculously hard this weekend for some reason - maybe it is because two of my usual single stand-bys suddenly BOTH have lady friends.  And all of a sudden, I feel like I have to change around them (it doesn't help that I have a history with one of them... but that is drama for another day) sometimes.  It's not like I can't be my usual asshole self, but I feel like maaaayyyybe some jokes just can't be said anymore around them.  And so, I am SUPER self-conscious about it. 

I made a comment about it this weekend, and folks in the crew didn't seem to understand that even with not all of the significant others there, it was still weird.  All the hooked up ones were either smooching or cuddling with their boos, and if they weren't there they were texting them.  Then there was me... drunk texting one of the Harvettes.  I am totally OK with being the one drunk texting the babies, but, really, having a companion doing the same would be GLORIOUS.  Maybe part of it is that I am also the "crazy" one - in the "let's party til we drop, fools" kind of way. Aaaaaand they've all allowed age to get the better of them.

It probably also doesn't help that, as the lone single one, everyone else seems to have a "find a dude Becca can hook up with or make out with or marry" radar out in full force when we go out.  Sometimes it works, usually it doesn't.  I am perfectly capable of creepin' all by myself, thank you very much.  So, because I am pretty much the last one, I am hyper aware of it, which in turn becomes a hyper ridiculous situation at times.   Eh.  Oh well - see you out there, friends...